I am going to enjoy life after 50 if it kills me!

Ugh…

I am so filled with self-doubt right now, I tried four different post titles, thought they were all awful, and ended up with “ugh”.

It has not been a good day.  My daughter had (she thought) two job offers last week.  So she turned down the job that she was actually offered for the job she thought she was getting, which would have been more fun.  Today she found out she now has neither job.

This evening I sat with my list of twenty school districts, ten charter schools, and twenty-one private schools within a 45 minute drive.  There is exactly ONE job opening I am qualified for.

I can feel the anxiety creep in.  Then my mind starts what iffing all over the place.  What if I had stayed where I was?  What if I’d never told my child what a great idea it would be to go to school here.  What if I hadn’t put in for a leave of absence?  What if we just got in the car and drove back home?

Holy cow!  No one knows how to make me crazy as well as I do.  I can take the facts and totally ignore them until my stomach is in knots and my head is swimming.   While contemplating how tightly wound I was becoming, I found this blog.  It reminded me of several simple things I can do to bring my thinking back into a more realistic perspective.

Check it out.  http://www.self-ish.net/2009/08/02/6-ways-to-squash-self-doubt/

Happy reading.  And may God save me from myself.  Sigh…

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Comments on: "Ugh…" (4)

  1. I just wrote my blog and I’m on the same note you are! Ugh!

  2. Thanks so much for linking to my post! I’m glad it was helpful. I also make myself very crazy with the what-ifs and should-haves. I think whenever you make a big change, it’s rarely smooth and is understandably anxiety-provoking. I try to tell myself that the bad moments do pass, and that all you can do is try your best and try your best to be kind to yourself.

    • Your post came to me just when I needed it most! I knew if it helped me it might help someone else who reads my blog. Which right now consists of a few friends and my relatives. LOL

  3. Oh, thank you! And, no worries, at least your friends and family read yours. 🙂

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