I am going to enjoy life after 50 if it kills me!

One of the best ways to feel better about your life, or your present lot in life, is to just do something.


Not just anything.  Crying, complaining, running away… not so much.  Do something positive.  Something that takes you, even if it’s in tiny baby steps, towards your goal.  You do have a goal, right?

  • Make a list.  It could be a list of chores to finish, bills to pay off, jobs to apply for, health goals, or whatever gets you out of your black hole and towards the light.
  • Create something.  I don’t necessarily means arts and craftsy, although if that helps, go for it.  Think of what you want and create something that will get you there.  This may be a portfolio, a resume and cover letter, a budget plan, a menu of healthy meals, or a collection of photos of whatever it is you are aiming for to help you visualize your goal.
  • Decide what steps are necessary to get from your black hole to wherever you want to be.  For me personally, that means creating a resume, listing possible companies to work for, researching those companies, writing cover letters, mapping out routes to visit each of these places, and getting in my car and visiting each location.  Your steps will be entirely unique to your situation and your personality.
  • Start with the first step.  Don’t look at the whole list and become overwhelmed.  One step at a time.
  • If your steps aren’t working, don’t give up.  Go back, do a little thinking and some soul searching, praying if that works for you, and revise your steps.  If what you’re doing isn’t working, don’t keep doing it.  There’s a saying about that.  Smart people (and you are one of them) don’t keep making the same mistake over and over again.  They come up with a Plan B, Plan C, and so on until they find something that works.  Learn from your mistakes.
  • Talk to someone you trust who is a generally upbeat person.  They will have the perspective you have lost while sliding down into that hole of self-doubt.  And they may have some creative ideas that you had not thought of.  Do this last step often and regularly!

Although becoming down and discouraged is normal when attempting something difficult, it does not have to be your downfall.  Being down in the dumps is okay for a day or two, but don’t let it linger much past a couple days.  You will get too comfortable down in that dark hole, sure that you will be there forever.  And that leads to depression, which is much harder to climb out of.

I give you this advice based on my own experiences over the years.  The past few weeks have given me lots of practice in staying optimistic and fighting off my negativity.  Last night was a reminder to me that I must do something every day to work towards my goals.

Today has been a much better day.


Comments on: "Self Doubt is Like a Black Hole" (1)

  1. Love the blog! Truly helpful to others……. and that is one thing you left off your list but DID…..
    Another way to get out of your black hole is to DO for OTHERS. Not only is it good for your soul and reminds you of things to be grateful for, it can sometimes lead to your future.

    Some of the things we really love and enjoy doing we perceive as having no value but are willing to donate our time to them. However, once you are in “the field” you can see opportunities you wouldn’t have otherwise.

    By making your blog a free gift for others you are both helping them AND honing your other skills and gifts. God will never let you out do HIM in the gift-giving department. The more you do for others, the more it will come back to YOU!

    So Deb, Keep on writing!!

    PS. Isn’t it nice when the friends who read your writing are also family?!

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