I am going to enjoy life after 50 if it kills me!

Changing Course… Again

By nightfall last night, all my optimism had abandoned ship, leaving me anxious (putting it mildly) and afraid.

It is obvious now that wherever I am, I can make myself miserable.  And I tend to think “if only…”  If only I moved back home.  If only my head didn’t hurt.  If only I wasn’t working here.

If only…

So it looks like I have the opportunity to return to Florida and teach in the same school system I just left.  Either God or dumb luck has given me an open door, and I’m going to take it.

I must make changes in myself, however.  Nothing will change – not my self-doubt, my ability to be happy, my negativity – until I make some internal changes.  This entire experience has been extremely humbling.  I am going back, with all my friends and family knowing I didn’t succeed.  So I must make sure I have learned some important lessons.

Stay tuned as I work through those life lessons.

PS – The ship pictured in my last post is a destroyer.  Which I found rather ironic when I used it, and today the irony of it grows.

PPS – The “if only” thing?  Pointed out to me by my amazing cousin, who tells me the truth whether I want to hear it or not.


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