I may have mentioned once or twice that I have become a grandmother recently. Love it, and love my grandson, by the way.
What this means, of course, is that my eldest daughter has recently become a mother. She and her husband are going to be excellent parents to this little man. I know my daughter relishes her time with her son.
My daughter. She is me. Smarter, thinner, and prettier, but me just the same. When she was about three and a half, I took her with me to an acquaintance’s house, where several moms and their little ones were also visiting. All the other children knew each other and quickly took off into the back yard to run and play as we watched. I looked over at my sweet little girl watching out the sliding glass door as the others laughed and played and my stomach turned. I’d been that child once, watching others play and feeling left out and lonely. It was gut wrenching and I realized that day that my daughter and I were of one heart.
As she’s grown up, I’ve seen more and more of me in my child. The perfectionist, the worrier, the pleaser, and the downright neurotic. We have often joked about this and my standard line to her is “Sorry about that”.
When she was in middle school and high school, my girl began getting migraines. I KNOW I’ve mentioned my migraines here before. As she got older, they decreased and were very manageable. But now, having given birth and returned to work, her headaches are becoming a daily habit. And they are increasing in intensity. And with all my heart and soul, I am truly sorry sweetheart.
This has been a fairly unproductive week for me. My migraine started Sunday evening.
Monday was not great, but I crawled in bed at 6 pm and stayed there. Tuesday started better. I broke up a fight, rearranged my classroom (around my kids, who were working at their desks at the time – moving the rug from one side of the room to the other was a bit distracting, I’ll admit), and assigned 40+ students their book chapters to read for the next two weeks. I find when I’m migraining for days on end, I’d better get done all I can in the lulls between serious headaches. By the end of the day, my head really hurt and I crawled in bed around 6:30.
This morning I went to school long enough to know I couldn’t do it. I was there less than a half hour. That’s another drag about chronic migraine. Sometimes I can go weeks on end with nothing more than a mild ache or a sore neck. Then, in the space of a half hour I can descend into a full-blown I want to cut my eye out headache. It gets hard to plan sometimes.
Since I had no deck screws available, I went home and crawled into bed, where I’ve spent a lot of quality time this week.
Today I had my doctor’s appointment to confirm that I am now shingle free. It went well and the little residual pain and itching is common and normal. Young children will be safe in my presence on Monday and will not be in danger of poxing out.
I left my appointment feeling very unsettled and nervous, however. It seems my blood pressure, which has always been fabulously normal, has now risen to unacceptable heights. In fact, the nurse taking my bp asked if I felt okay. I said I was fine, which I was until I turned to look at my reading on the machine behind my head. 166 over 94?? What happened to my faithful 110 over 70? She took another reading which was slightly, but not much, lower.
After the doctor finished his shingle free proclamation, he again took my blood pressure. 145 over 91. Better, but still a far cry from my 110 over 70. He was not at all happy and told me to lay off the table salt. I don’t salt any of my food. Then he dropped the bombshell. If I don’t get my blood pressure down, he will not let me take my Imitrex. Those of you who know me well know I do not go anywhere without that medicine. It is the only thing that controls my migraine enough to allow me to work and function normally.
So now I am fretting and anxious over what might happen, which I’m SUUUURRRE is not helping my blood pressure. He prescribed a diuretic and I have to go back in one month. If my bp has not gone down, we will have to make some decisions. I’m trying not to worry a problem that doesn’t yet exist, but I am so reliant on my medicine to keep my migraine at bay, I can’t imagine what I’d do without it.
I’m hoping a really good night’s sleep will help me put this all in perspective. Either that, or going up to school tomorrow to spend a Saturday finishing up my classroom for Monday morning’s new students will keep me busy enough that I won’t have time to worry about it. That’s the plan anyway.